Working on Kindness!

Last night was a rough night. I was trying to do our taxes and it was getting very frustrating. Scott was watching a movie at a friends house so I was alone with the kids. I had asked them to pick up the mess they made in the front room. The argued, teased, played but didn't get much cleaned. I was tired of hearing the noise so I sent them both upstairs to get their pajamas on. More teasing ensued...I got a little more irritable. They came downstairs and I told them they now needed to clean. More playing, more teasing. I had HAD it. I may have yelled (nodding head yes) at them and told them to go get to bed NOW. Jade, realizing I was ticked felt bad and tried to give me a hug and I told her to go upstairs. Jax ran upstairs happily as if all was alright in the world. Jax came down a few minutes later and actually picked up what I asked him to. I then asked him to go and tell Jade she could go get in the bath. A few minutes later I hear him yell down the stairs "MMMOOOOMMMM!!!! She won't open her eyes to talk to me! I tried to tell her to get in the bath but she won't open her eyes and talk!!!" I asked if she was asleep. "I dunno, but she won't open her eyes to talk!" I went upstairs to find that Jade had turned out the lights and went to sleep. The mommy guilt then kicked in. I hate when they go to bed with me upset and not getting to talk about it first-and Jade getting in trouble like that is really rare, which is why I felt extra bad. Anyway, I apologized to her in the morning and we talked about the importance of listening. 30 min later we started doing her hair and this is the conversation we had:

Jade: Mom....you know that song Edelweiss? (we made her a playlist on her itouch to go to sleep with)
Mom: yep
Jade: Well you know it says "sweet and kind" in it.
Mom: Yep, it does
Jade: Um mom?
Mom: Yes?
Jade: Well.....you are sweet, but you really need to work on that kindness part!

Ahhhh....nothing like the words of a child!

Wanting and not so patiently waiting.

I am going to share something and put it bluntly:

I want another baby!!!

We had fertility issues with Jade. With Jax it was practically miracle conception, I swear. I took my IUD out and the next month I was pregnant. Because I have had a hard time with Jax over the past 3 years, I didn't want to try too soon for a baby- in fear that it would happen quickly and I wasn't ready for another one. So we waited. We started trying again just after Jax turned 3. We have been trying for 7 months. For the first 5 months I was patient. The past 2, not so much. I get infertility. I get there are others who have waited LOTS longer and are still waiting. That doesn't change the fact that I want one NOW and that I get tired of knowing what day I am on, taking pills that make me have hot flashes all day and maybe a little grumpy, blood tests, calling the dr, and thinking about it constantly. Yet....I also believe in the Lord's timing. (Jaxon was obviously VERY meant to come to our family when he did.) So all I can do is pray about it and hope it happens sooner than later. If any of you would like to pray for us as well, feel free. :)

There ya have it....a private part of my life I would usually not share. Yes, we are trying to have a baby. No, it is not coming easily.

Jaxon

Mr. Jaxon....where to even begin! He is getting big. How is my baby 3 1/2? He is as old as Jade was when we moved in this house? Crazy how time flies! There is no hiding the fact that we have had our hard times with Jax, but I can honestly say that things have been a little easier lately. He will sit in a time out, listen when we count to 3 and say sorry when he gets in trouble. Don't get me wrong, he is still a little spitfire who has a mind of his own, but they are getting better.
The great thing is he gets funnier everyday. He is at that great age where I just wish I could follow him around with a video camera because 90% of what he says is pretty dang funny.

Monkey Bars and Fruit roll-ups

Jaxon could very easily live off of those two items. Monkey bars (granola bars to the rest of us) are eaten on a daily basis-usually two a day. Every morning when he wakes up he will run downstairs and grab his monkey bar. Add in pizza lunchables (SICK! Who wants to eat a gross cold stale pizza from a box....oh Jax) and he would never go hungry! So seeing him run downstairs and come back up with the monkey bar and fruit by the foot is something we see EVERY day!

Trio's
Jaxon's life pretty much revolves around his trio's right now. I can honestly say that he spends at least 2 hours a day playing with them. Building, destroying, rebuilding...... He loves to follow the "structions" and amazingly enough can look at the pictures and put things together. I think my favorite is watching him come up with his own creations. He is pretty creative. The other day he even brought one to me and said "Max's shirt" and indeed, it looked like Max's shirt. Scott likes all of this probably even more than I do. He loves to sit and build with Jax too. Last week we ordered him a Dino trio with some of his Christmas money and although it only took 2 days to get it in the mail, the waiting ALMOST killed him. For those two days he mentioned it over and over and over again! His face was priceless when it finally got here.

Primary
My little Jax is now a SUNBEAM!!! Gosh...I wish he could say he loves it. What he loved was nursery and his teacher "Sista Andisin" (Sister Anderson). He LOVED her and loved getting to play with toys and playdo. I will admit the thought of him in primary frightened me. Fortunatley (or maybe unfortunately) I teach the class that sits right behind him. The first week I took him in and he was having none of sitting with his class. He would only sit with me and say things loudly. A few things I heard over and over. "I don't like this" "I want to go home!" "I want to see Sista Andisin" "These pants make my bum itch" Nice huh? It made all my nightmares come true. But....he went to class ok. The next week Scott took him in and he was an ANGEL. I watched him throughout the whole 45 min and he didn't do anything but kinda hang out on his chair and observe what was going on. Shock...... The last two weeks have been ok. He doesn't love it. He ends up laying on the ground part of the time and seems pretty bored, but he isn't any worse than any other Sunbeam and for that....I am very grateful!

A few other things about Jax lately:
- He loves having his back rubbed "Rub back" is a constant reuquest. And if he wakes up at night and I go in to check on him, the only thing I will hear is "Sleep by momma" and I take him in bed and he snuggles really close. Love it (until he turns horizontal and kicks me in the stomach)
- He can be very loving to me. He will walk up to me and just say "Hugs" and wants a hug. He will do the same thing with Jade. It's cute
-He saves my house from being blown up. I came home the other day and as soon as I walk in Jax says "Mom!!!! There was a beeping noise! A loud one! Don't worry, I turned it off so that it wouldn't blow up the house. Mom!!!! I did it. It won't blow up!!!" I could not figure out what he was talking about....I figured maybe the fire alarm went off or something (Scott was home with him but had fallen asleep on the floor). About 10 min later I hear my alarm go off upstairs. Jaxon shoots up from the floor and as he goes running upstairs says "I'll push that button so it doesn't blow up the house!" I started laughing. I had set my alarm for PM instead of AM and it had been going off every 10 min for the past hour. When he came down I said "Jax, was it my alarm going off?" and he said "Yeah...LOTS but I didn't let it blow up the house!" Phew.....glad he took care of that for us because we all know his dad would have NEVER heard the sounds that were letting him know the house was about to blow up! ;)
- He likes going to the gym. He differentiates the two by calling them the "car gym" and the "temple gym" Not sure why he calls it that-there isn't a temple by the "temple gym" but all that matters is I know which is which and he can help me decide which one we should go to.
- He LOVES Jurassic Park. I know....the show is scary, but he thinks it is fantastic. He loves to show people how the dinosaurs breathe out their noses. He like to talk about the two "brothers" who go out of the forest together and how the "big dinosaur eats that guy".
- He still loves to watch Max and Ruby and Scooby more than anything else.
-If he does something that he actually feels truly sorry for, and I get mad at him for it, he has the saddest little cry.
-We got him a fishing pole at Cabella's. He was so excited and when we walked out he said "Dad....where we going fishing?" He truly thought we were going right now and when he realized we weren't his sad little cry came out. We told him it was too cold and we had to wait till it was warm. We didn't let him open the pole and left it on the table when he went to bed. After he was asleep SCott opened it to check it out and then put the fishing pole away but left the wrapper on the table. Jax went down the next morning for his "Monkey Bar" and from upstairs I hear (Gasp) "My fishing pole! Where is it?" Then I hear him open the door to the garage. It shuts and I hear Jax just melt down with the sad cry "Daddy went fishing without me!!!" It was so sad. All he saw was the wrapper to the pole and that Dad's car wasn't in the garage. He thought for sure Scott had taken his pole and gone fishing! It was so sad and yet so cute all at the same time! He was happy when I explained that Dad was at school and then I showed him where his pole was. He loves practicing casting with it!


Like I said, I could go on forever at how cute and funny he is lately. I just can't believe how big he is (I know, it's like the 3rd time I have said that) and can say I am sad he is that big. I KNOW I didn't appreciate those years like I should have. They were rough, but I should have been a little more loving, and a little more patient. I am working on it.

I love ya Jax! You make me smile Every. Single. Day!

I love when they are nice to each other

Scott was unhappy I even took this pics and told me I was not to post them on my blog. Come on...he knew I would. I think he was so upset becuase his mom and grandma dressed him up like a girl when he was little and he has heard the story over and over and hates it! But hey...Jade wanted a dance partner. He put the accessories on but refused to dance- "its for gurls". These pics just crack me up and you can see he has the fishing pole as well! And yes, he may hate me for these pics some day! :) He is such a BOY, I was surprised he even put these on. I think he just liked our reaction!

Jadyn

I honestly can not believe how big Jade is getting. She is only 6 but (95% of the time) acts so much older than her age. She is an amazing little girl. I was talking to the old primary president the other day about how Jax seems so much younger than Jade when she was his age. The lady said "Well and Jadyn seems older than all the kids her own age!" And she is right. She does. The things she says, does, it's pretty funny.
Here are some things about Jade the past couple months:
The Itouch
- She loves the Itouch she got for Christmas. She likes to play games, watch movies, etc. One of her favorite things about it is that she can text people. I also love this because she is at the age where she is trying to sound out words so I get texts like this:
After I left to go out one night with my friends:
Jade: I Love you hi
Mom: I love you very much. I will snuggle you when I get home
Jade: I love you too
Jade: Hi
Mom: I love you more
Jade: I love more
MOm: No way
Jade: No way I love you
Mom: Nope, love you most
Jade: Are you comen hon (Are you coming home?)
Jade: I hop you camen hon kaz jaxon CID (translation: I hope you are coming home because Jaxon cried)
Jade: Hi mom
Mom: I am at the movie. I won't be home till later
Jade: Ka all sop tex (K, I'll stop texting)

Another time I left:
Jade: Win R you cum (When are you coming)
Mom: In a little bit
Jade: O ca (OK)

I love getting her texts. They make me smile every time!

Gymnastics
The girls spends half her days upside down yesterday. She no longer walks from one room to another. She does cartwheels, handstands, roundoffs, etc EVERYWHERE she goes! She loves to do back walkovers. She used to just do a backbend and then kickover. About 2 weeks ago she finally started being able to do it all in one motion. Since then....I think she does at least 25 of them a day. 90% of the time she starts with "Mom....watch this!" She is so proud of herself....so am I! She has a dance recital next week and gets to be the only one in the class who gets to do a back walkover in the middle of the dance. She is so excited! I am so glad she loves dance and gymnastics. Now she just wants to add piano to the mix! I bet she regrets that decision once she realizes how much she has to practice (didn't we all?)

Reading
The past few months she has been working on sight words at school and is getting so good at sounding out words. She loves to read books and help find all the sight words while we are reading at night. I am amazed at how well she is doing. It is so fun to watch her grow in reading.

Misc:
- The girl is funny and cracks me up every day. The other day she said she was trying to get a towel "splackity clack" to clean up a spill. She meant "Lickety split"! We had a good laugh about that.

- She is so loving to Scott and me. She tells us she loves us and lets us snuggle her whenever. She is still a momma's girl. She likes to be with me at all times and REALLY doesn't like me to go places without her. The last time I went out with my friends I told Jade earlier in the day that I would be gone that night. She asked why I had to go with my friends. I told her I liked to spend time with my friends just like she likes to play with her friends. Later that day before I left she said "Mom? I don't think I am going to play with my friends anymore" I asked her why not. She said "Because if I don't play with my friends than you can't play with yours!"
She also gets jealous if she is around and I am having my attention on other kids. I went into her class to help at school. She was so excited for me to be there. Her teacher asked me to work with each of the kids individually and when I started with the kids I noticed she kept getting more and more sad-almost crying! When it was her turn she came back and was pouty and sad. After we had dropped all of the kids off from carpool I told her I would take her to get a treat. I ran inside to get my money and when I came out she was all teary and she said "Mom? Can I tell you something? I was just feeling like you were forgetting about me in my class" and then she started bawling! Dramatic? A little. But I held her, told her I loved her the most and would never forget about her! ;)

- As nice as she is she still likes to tease Jax and also gets so mad when he bugs her. She won't ever hit him or push him but she gives him a really mean look and puts her hand in a fist and puts it in front of him. She thinks she is so touch. Funny thing is it doesn't bother Jax in the slightest!

On Martin Luther King Day Scott and I had the day off so we took the kids to lunch and then to visit Grandma Bev and Grandma Christensen. The kids were sooo good all day! We stopped at cabella's on the way home and Jade insisted I take these pictures of her!

I love ya Jade!

Girls Camp....What?

When the New Years came around I (like millions of others) started thinking about New Year's Resolutions. There are many who are now just picking one word to represent change in the New Year. I started thinking about a word and what I wanted to do this year and the thing I kept thinking about was the need to step out of my box....or my comfort zone. Learn new things, do new things, ya know....things like that. I hadn't really settled on one word yet but that was the direction I was going.
My Bishop....who seems in tune with my thoughts as last time I prayed for meeting new people I was called to the R.S. presidency....called me into his office. Hmmmm, I already have a calling that is pretty new. I don't THINK they would change me now. I was right....they weren't changing me now. They were adding an additional calling. Our conversation went like this:
(B)ishop: Well Ali, we would like to call you to be the YW camp director. How do you feel about that?
(M)e: (confused/stunned) Uh. Uh. Hmmm (nervous laugh) Um.
(B): I think you'll do great. We will call an assitant....10 if you'd like.
(M): (look at Scott) Welll.....Hmmmm
(B): You don't have to say yes. You can go home and think about it, pray about it
(M): (Thinking how I can't say no to a calling) No, going home and thinking about it won't change the way I feel (nervous, overwhelmed-since I know the HUGE amount of time he is talking about here). But yes, I will do it
(B): Are you sure? You'll be great
(M): Yes, it's fine (overwhelmed laugh)

Can't you feel the joy and excitement I felt when I got the calling! ;) So, I am now the new camp director. I am nervous. Not because I don't think I can do it, but more because: 1- I don't like being in charge. Put me as assistant or on a committee and I will do anything I am asked-but I hate being in charge (Most of you who know me will have a hard time believing that, but it's true) and 2- I know it is going to take A LOT of time. I will spend more time for the one week of camp than I do my entire year in my primary calling. and 3-I want to take my family with me. I have never gone a day without seeing Jade. Never. So I just feel better with her around me. I want to take Scott to help with things up there. Do I want to take Jax? No, but only because he would love it so much I would just be worried he would run away or get lost up there!
Jade cried on the way home when she found out I would be gone for 4 days! I think I will have Scott come up for a day or two so maybe Jade can come up for a bit as well. We'll see.
So....wish me luck, pray for me-I think I am going to need it! :)

Lost?

I'm not. I do realize that I haven't posted in over two weeks. Jade got an Itouch for Christmas and instead of checking blogs, facebook, etc from the computer at night-and spending hours on the computer wasting time-and blogging while I am at it- I use her itouch to check things randomly throughout the day and never sit down at the computer anymore. And...since I can't blog on her Itouch, I haven't blogged. BUT.....my blog is my only family journal at this point so I am committing to come back....and blog! The goal is to be caught up by Sunday. Wish me luck!

Christmas Vacation and New Years!

I will have to say that our Christmas Vacation was much different this year than in the past. I think our theme would have been "Home" as in spending LOTS of time at home! I am not complaining, in fact it has left me feeling very rested but it was definitely different than past years.

Wed 22nd: I spent the day cleaning since we were now on Vacation for the next week and a half and wanted to start it off with a clean house. It took longer than usual and I was a little grumpy by the time Scott got home and he was now off as well. He helped finish up the cleaning and we ended up being able to take the kids to see Santa (at Fashion place-where they let you take your own pictures). We had to wait in line about 20 min and the kids were REALLY good!

Thurs 23rd: I was woken up at 5:00 a.m. by Jadyn who said that Scott needed me outside. Huh? Well, It had been raining a ton and Scott checked the basement in the middle of the night (2:30) and the carpet was wet. So he went outside and started digging up the hose we had currently put in because it obviously wasn't working. He worked on it until about 6:30 and then waited for my dad to come look at it. He came around 8:00 and Scott worked on it until about 1:30 when he finally finished (Thanks to Drew for coming to help him finish). He was so tired. So our movie day started a little late- probably around 3:00 but we still ended up watching some movies with the 4 of us, so that was nice.

Sun 26th: After church I decided it was time to take down Christmas. It took awhile but it was nice to get it down and feel like I had my house back. Roy and Belva came over for a bit to see what the kids got for Christmas. We invited Brandee and Lewis over later to play some games. We had fun playing Cranium and chatting. I had started not feeling great Sunday morning but by the time Brand and Lewis left I was feeling REALLY crappy. My throat was killing me and my body HURT!!!

Mon 27th: I spent most of the night awake and miserable and knew the feeling really well from a few weeks before. So I didn't waste anytime not going to the Dr. I called the office at 7:45 and made an apt for 8:30. I dropped the kids off to my mom's and headed in. Sure enough, I have strep....AGAIN!!!! I seriously have not been to a Dr due to being sick in sooo long and now I had been twice in 3 weeks! I will admit it may be part my fault as I didn't take all of my last antibiotics. Lesson learned! I grabbed my meds, a jamba, picked up the kids, and headed home. I proceeded to spend the rest of the day asleep or laying down. I think it is the first time in EVER being sick that as soon as Scott got home I went upstairs, shut the door, and stayed there-ignoring anything else that was going on downstairs! My grandma was having her swimming party later that night and I was sad to miss it, but there was no way I could go! Scott was so good about just taking the kids and they had a great time. They came home reporting that Jax had a great time jumping off the diving board with his goggles on and Jade had learned to do BACK FLIPS off the diving board! SCARY! Good thing I wasn't there for that! ;) I was proud of her though since I still love doing back flips off the board and the fact that she didn't have to wear her life jacket the whole time! By the time they got home (around 8:30) I was finally showing and starting to feel a tad bit better after having 2 doses of antibiotics. But....I went right back to bed! ;)

Tues 28th: I woke up feeling much better. Whew! Jade had a yearly checkup so we went to the dr in the morning (Scott was at a baseball clinic again). I had a little hunch that Jade may have strep too since she had said it hurt when she swallowed. I asked the Dr to go ahead and swab her for strep and yes indeed-she had it too! Although she didn't feel as crappy as I was we had to keep her home for 24 hours so that she didn't get anyone else sick! So- we all stayed home ALL DAY!!!

Wed 29th: Phew.....everyone was finally feeling better. Brandee and Michael had been planning on taking my kids to do something fun to celebrate Carla's birthday and Scott had planned his Movie day. So.....by 11:00 I was home-ALONE! I went to the temple with Cher and we did initatories. It was nice to finally get out of the house and spend time at the temple. When I got home I thought about shopping or something since I was all alone but decided I would continue my theme of staying home and took a 3.5 hour nap! Woo hoo! It felt great. It had been storming HARD all day so when Brand brought the kids home I decided against going somewhere for dinner so again....we all stayed home and Brand had dinner with us there!

Thurs 30th: Scott and I got up early and went and did a session at the temple while my mom watched the kids. When we got home we decided that because we were all healthy it was time to leave the house. We left and noticed a neighbor out shoveling her driveway so we turned around so that Scott could help her real quick. Afterwards we went to breakfast at kneaders and then went to Jungle Jims. Scott HATES that place but I told him we could just sit and watch. But....Jade had other plans and begged us to jump too-even offering to pay her own money for us (no I didn't make her). So-much to Scott's dismay, we ended up taking turns jumping with the kids and in the end had an all out game of tag in this bouncy room. It actually ended up pretty fun but we were glad we left when we did because it got REALLY busy! When we were leaving I was all ready to head back home but Scott didn't want to go back and home and just hang out. This was a SHOCK to me because he NEVER wants to be out and is usually a total homebody. That testifies just how much we had been home the past week. So-we made a day out of it. We went shopping for a few things, went to Barnes and Noble for an hour, returned some things and then grabbed some dinner. We ended up not getting home until about 7:00-so we were out for about 8 hours! We did our duty and were all ready to be home by the time we finally made it there!

Fri 31st: I cleaned in the morning and then cooked a few things for later that night. I finally got showered and ready and went with Jade and Brand out shopping for about an hour and a half before we headed over to my mom's for dinner. We had decided the day before that we would get together for a few hours and then wrap up the New Year's party by about 9:00. Megs family came over as well as my grandma and Dave and my dad and Jon. We ate and played some games and then went home. We were home and the kids were asleep by 10:00! Can I tell you that it was the best New Year's eve EVER?!?!? SCott and I are not fans of the holiday and don't love hanging out with kids until after midnight and then driving home and not getting to bed till after 1:00. It's just not our idea of fun so this year was much better for us and we will probably continue the tradition! :)

Sat 1st: ROUGH start to the day. I woke up at 5:00 a.m. to the sound of Jadyn throwing up-alot-on my white carpet. Nice. I woke Scott up and he put her in the bath while I went about the gross job of cleaning up. I am usually ok with cleaning up my kids throw up but this one was not good! I cleaned it up the best I could and then we cleaned up more once we were able to get a bissel from my grandma. Jade threw up all morning and felt so crappy. I was supposed to go help my sister move but ended up staying with the kids while Scott went and helped. Needless to say-we ended up staying home again ALL DAY!!! We took naps, watched shows and just hung out!

So there ya have it. Out of 11 days I think I actually went somewhere on 2 of those days! It was definitely a huge difference from the past but like I said, I feel much more rested. We also spent a lot less money than we usually do and since that is a BIG goal of ours in 2011-spending less-we got off to a great start. And-although we may not have gone and done a ton of fun things, I think we all enjoyed getting to spend so much time together as a family. As the New Year starts, so does Baseball, so our family time gets limited between now and June! I really did enjoy the Christmas break and here is to starting back to our routine: Jade goes back to school, Jax goes back to daycare and Scott and I go back to work!

A few pics from the break:

Scott fixing the water issues!

Jaxon LOVED that he was wearing the same thing as Dad!

The kids with the cake they helped Brand make for Grandma Carla

The boredom took over. The kids found these body crayons that we have and put dad to work!