A Saturday of bad choices

The beginning of December Scott was gone on for the weekend and I was alone with the kids. It was an interesting weekend with Jax. Saturday we had a ward party. Taking the 3 kids alone was a little hard but was ok. Jax and Jade went and played with kids for a little while before we left. We went right from there to Belva's family Christmas party. I stayed with the kids for about 30 min and then needed to leave to take Hads home. Jax and Jade were going to stay. Before we left Jax had a little kid throw a wood toy at his head. He cried and decided after that that he was ready to go home with me. On our way out he found a little box with some orange balls in it. It looked like a kids toy. He wanted to take it home. I told him he couldn't and asked him to put it back where he got it from. I took Hads and loaded her in the car and Jax came and got in. He was super good for me when we stopped at a store. When we got home I layed Hads down for a nap and Jax and I layed down on my bed. He had his box of maps on the bed and when he moved the box I heard the rattle of the orange balls. "Jax? What is that?" He quickly moved the box. "Jaxon! Did you take that toy?" "No." "Jaxon! I heard them!" "Mama....I really wanted to play with it. I am sorry mama. I just wanted it!" I was really upset with him because he totally lied to me. I sent him to his room and told him he had to stay there for the night. I was so mad! He knew he was in trouble and went right to his room. And he stayed there for all night. He cried. He threw a fit. He tried to come out and I continued to send him back. I was downstairs and heard these things "Why do you get to go downstairs and I don't?" I told him it was because I didn't steal anything. His response was "Well, that's lame!" A little bit later I hear him yell down "Ya know when Haddie grows up and I'm an adult she's going to be a lot more struggle" Oh man, that one cracked me up. He eventually gave up fighting and yelling and resolved to being there for the night. I think he was in there from about 4:30-9:30. It was a long time. Later than night when Roy and Belva brought Jade home I finally let him out to come down and visit! Whew...it wasn't pretty but hopefully he learned I was not ok with the stealing or the lying.

The next day we were at church sitting in sacrament and Jadyn leans over to me as says "Mom, turn around and look at that chair" I turned around and saw this:

To some you may see a scribbled on chair with some weird letters. To me I immediately saw scribbling and the 5 letters of Jaxon's name...in his handwriting....even though they were upside down! I looked over at jax. "Jaxon!!! Look at that chair! Did you do that?" "No mom! I didn't do that!" "Jaxon? It sure looks just like your handwriting!" "I didn't do it mom!" "Stop looking at me!" "I didn't do it" I was still staring at him with the look "FINE!!! I did it. I colored on the chair. I know, I'm grounded. I will go right to my room when I get home!" What the...?!?! I seriously was just blown away. Seriously? You took a marker to the chair (and was dumb enough to write your name?) Ugh. I could not believe it. He told me he did it at the party the day before. Nice. He went to his room and then I took him back with me later when I had choir practice and had him help with scrubbing the marker off the chair. We had a LONG talk about it. He KNOWS he shouldn't have done it...he knows he only colors on paper. Don't get it. Lucky for him, we got it off. The next Sunday while sitting in church he says, after coming in from getting a drink "Mom...I saw the other chair I colored on. We should clean it too!" What? Two chairs? He assured me there was only two....and we came back again with cleaning supplies at choir practice. Jaxon, Jaxon, Jaxon, I love ya....a lot. Maybe you will get out the bad choices early so that we have smooth sailing in the future. Right?

A morning back ache

Sometimes I wake up with a horrible back ache...as if I slept wrong or something. A few weeks ago  I woke up and got out of bed and realized why that might be......

See that tiny space in front of Jadyn's face and Jaxon's feet? That is where I was sleeping. There is this HUGE space on the other side of them but for some reason if they are in my bed I end up waking on on the very edge, with them RIGHT next to me and the other side of the bed goes untouched. I don't get it. As my dad would say, it's my own fault for letting them in the bed. This night I didn't even know Jax had come in. And it's true but dang....at least let's use the entire bed!

An update on Haddie

Man Alive! I am sooo behind! Life the past two months has FLOWN by....that seems to keep happening. I think the last time I did a real Hadley update was when she was 11 months old...so 2.5 months ago. Yeah, just a little behind. So....I decided it's time for another update!

A day in the life:
7:30- Wake up, turn on music and hang out in crib for about 15 min
7:45-8:45- Get dressed, play (or cry at mom's feet) while the other kids get dressed. Head downstairs for breakfast and get bag ready for Daycare
8:45- Out the door to take Jade to school and drop Haddie at Daycare
12:00- Pick Hads up from Daycare where she has played, eaten and MAYBE taken a small 15 min nap
12:30- Eat some lunch and play for a few minutes
1:00-4:00 Nap time!
04:00-6:00- Play and be held
6:00-7:00- Dinner, run kids around
7:00-bath time
7:30- Bed time

- Hads now has 6 teeth. 4 on top, 2 on the bottom. She actually has some molar teeth coming in on top too. They aren't all they way down yet but they are poking through. Scott and I wanted to blame some of the orneriness lately on that once we saw they were coming through! :)

Food
Breakfast- Fruit and waffle or egg
Lunch- Chicken nuggets, sandwich, veggie
Dinner- Will usually give her whatever we are eating to see if she will eat it
Snacks- oranges, grapes, bananas, PB crackers, fish crackers, yogurt bites, squeeze applesauce
Drinks- Milk, water and very rarely juice and sip of diet pepsi

Hads is a good eater if I give her something she likes. If she doesn't like it she will shake her head and just throw it on the floor. Even if she does like the food she has, as soon as she is full everything else on the tray gets thrown off too! And if she wants something while in the chair she gives her high pitch scream until you figure out what else she wants.

The scream
Speaking of the scream....it needs it's own paragraph. Honestly, it may kill us all. Think of the HIGHEST pitch in the world and Hads can scream it out. Over. and Over. and Over again until you want to rip your head out. She has learned it is the best way to communicate with us and it may be driving us...as well as anyone who is in earshot of her while we are out places, crazy. If she decides she is tired of the high pitch scream for a minute she goes full fledge into a "eh, eh, eh, eh" sound in a high whiny voice. It's super awesome (can you sense the sarcasm?). For this reason, we are all looking forward to when she will talk instead of scream!

Mobility
A few weeks ago Jade was keeping an eye on Hads while I was folding laundry upstairs. A few minutes after I went upstairs I heard Hads at the top of the stairs. I looked out the door and there she was....all alone! I had no idea she could even crawl up the stairs! I was just happy she didn't fall down the stairs while she was crawling up. Amazingly enough (knock on wood) she has not fallen down the stairs and seems to know she can't attempt to go down because she will crawl to the stairs and just sit there until I pick her up. She continues to only crawl-no walking yet. She has started to attempt to stand up with out holding on to something just in the past week. She is getting better at that but I think we are still probably a month away from her walking. I am ok with that. It seems like once they walk the are so much older! I need to keep my baby little! :)

Personality
Miss Hads. Well, I hate to say she is a grump, but a lot of the time it's the truth! Actually, I don't think grump is the right word. Hads is not one that likes to sit and play with a toy. She doesn't really play with any toys. If there is a bucket with something in it she will sit and empty it and then is on to something else. Most of the time if I set her on the floor to play she is whining at my feet within minutes. 95% of the time I am ok with it and love to hold her! The 5% of the time comes in when I have things I have to get done that simply can't be done while holding her. I don't complain too much though because I love that she loves me and I love to hold her!

Talking
She still doesn't talk. I wouldn't even really say she says any words. She babbles a lot, mama seems to be the most babbled but I don't think it is really a reference for me. So, I am sure words will come eventually. Seeing she is the 3rd child she has a lot of other people to talk for her...plus, who needs to talk when a high pitch shrill gets you what you want!

Sleep
Hads is a great sleeper now. When I took her to her 12 month apt I talked to the dr about her itchiness. A few nights before her apt I had Hadley in bed with me and she kept me up from all of her scratching...it drove me crazy so I can only imagine how she felt. The dr said it wouldn't surprise her if it was the itchiness that was waking her up multiple times at night. She suggested slathering her with aquaphor....so basically Vaseline. I started doing it and I think it has helped a ton. She still scratches some, but not nearly as much. Also, I haven't seen any more new molescum and I think that also comes from less scratching, so less spreading! That is a good thing. I also realized about the same time that having a light on in the hall helps her. If it is completely dark she cries and cries when she wakes up. I think she is probably looking for a binkie and she can't find one if it is too dark. She now goes to bed by about 7:30 and sleeps from 12 hours. It's so great!

Random Haddie Pics from the last few months

Hadley and her BFF annie

Getting into her toys....it's always a fake though...she never really plays with them!

Many faces of Hads

She's got "smizing" down. You can see the smile through her eyes!

This could be the screaming at the top of my lungs look

 and the concerned look we get after the scream. We get the look when jaxon is buggin her, someone is trying to hold her, someone looked at her, she wants something. You get the idea

 A view I see at the bottom of my legs much of the day. How can I not pick her up and hold her? She is too stinkin cute!

 Helping me unload the dishwasher....onto the floor!

 Sleeping with her baby

 Jax wanted to hold her. Haddie held still for about .2 seconds before she was screaming to get down!

The 2nd grade teacher issue

My blog is my family journal. So....if anybody else does read this, feel free to skip this post. It's long, with no pictures, but I wanted this written down.
So, Jade started 2nd grade in July. We are at a different school this year due to boundary changes. Because of that, there wasn't a lot of people around to ask about teachers. I was really hoping for a great teacher this year. Jadyn loved her teacher in 1st grade. She was a teacher who had just gotten married and was having a baby and wasn't coming back to teach at all once she had the baby. She was a very relaxed teacher. The kids got away with a lot and I didn't always feel like the teaching was the best. That being said, Jadyn loved school, loved her teacher and I decided that was ok and we would work on things at home. So, when it came to 2nd grade I was hoping for a lot. I heard a few things about her assigned teacher that made me concerned but what could I do? Jadyn went to school the first few days and was unimpressed. She said her teacher was grumpy and mean. I knew this could be a problem after her year last year so we talked about it a little and I tried to be positive because she feeds off of me. We went to back to school night and after hearing from her teacher I was hopeful. A few weeks into school things weren't going so well. Jade didn't want to go to school (huge change from last year) and would always say that she was so nervous to get in trouble because her teacher yelled and was mean to kids when they got in trouble. I was in the office one day and saw the principal and just told her that Jadyn was having a lot of anxiety over the way this teacher was treating kids. The principal (who is new to the school) said she hadn't heard from any other parents and suggested I talk to the teacher. Well, it was only 3 weeks into school and Jade did not want me talking to the teacher so I decided to wait it out a little. Five weeks into school there was a field trip planned. I volunteered and was VERY unimpressed with what I saw. The teacher was very short and snippy with the kids and the atmosphere in the classroom was so sad to me. It just seemed so depressing. It sparked greater concern. The very next day, while chatting with Jadyn after school she randomly said "Mom, you know what I hate at school? I hate when Ms.____ is on her cell phone and we have to wait to ask her questions" I about died. I asked her what she was talking about and she started telling me all about conversations this teacher had had with different family members. She had details. I was mad. I sent the principal and email and told her that although I had not talked to the teacher about my previous concerns I wanted the cell phone issue addressed ASAP. The next day the kids went off track. The following Monday I got an email from the principal telling me that she talked to the teacher about the cell phone and the teacher told her that she does give out her cell phone to family members for emergencies and that she had answered her phone a few times in class and 2 of those were sales calls. Her email went on to say that she felt confident that this teacher is not on her cell phone. Well, that made me sooo mad. That email told me that 1- The teacher flat out lied because Jadyn had told me of 2 phone calls in just that week that she had with family members and 2- The principal thought Jadyn was lying! I sent back an email telling her I was disappointed with the answer but hopefully knowing she addressed it would let the teacher know that people were aware and it wouldn't continue. Let's just say that after that day, I couldn't NOT think about this teacher issue. I had learned that this teacher ONLY teaches from her desk sitting down. Jadyn said to me on the day of the field trip "Mom, how come Ms. ____ stood for the pledge when you were there but never does when it's just the kids?". I learned that she doesn't walk them to lunch, she wasn't doing any art or PE (two of Jadyn's favorite things about school). She wasn't reading at all with the kids. She had parents sign up to say if they wanted to come in to help and yet never had anyone come in. All of it put together was just driving me crazy. It bothered me for days. I talked with my mom, other moms, family members. I decided the only thing I could do was to address all of my concerns with the teacher. So...I sent her an email shortly before they went back on track. I received a call from her the Monday they started back. The phone call went really well. She was nice and addressed all of my concerns. She promised that guided reading would be starting, parent volunteers would start. In fact, I could start coming in the next day on a Tuesday Great! The next day Jax had the flu so my mom said she would go volunteer instead. My mom went in and Ms. Olson said she had nothing for her. Hmmm... 2 weeks later nothing had changed. No parent volunteers except for one sweet mom in my neighborhood, who after I voiced my concern to, just started going in after she volunteered in her kindergartener's class. It was cold outside and the teacher couldn't walk down to the gym so they had PE in the class room next door, a phone call to schedule a nail apt. I was mad. I sent another email saying "Hey, you said such and such was going to happen and it hasn't. When is it going to". She responded and said next week. Two weeks later and guided reading had happened ONCE. ONE time in 12 weeks this teacher read with the kids. I knew that it should have been happening at least once a week. It was driving me crazy again. By now I had talked to several moms in the class. Some had concerns, a few did not. I get that. Some kids aren't as vocal as Jade. Jadyn is chatty, she tells me everything. If it was Jax in this class he probably wouldn't have said much about it. Well one of the other mom's, after hearing a lot more from her daughter about some concerns she had, called me. She shared with me some things I didn't even know...the biggest one was that this teacher was sending our kids out to her car, during the day, to get things for her. Jadyn hadn't said anything because I am sure she thought it was a fun thing to do. I was kind of dumbfounded. This mom called the principal but over the weekend decided that she was just not going to put up with it and that she wanted her child out of the class. She called me on Jade's birthday to let me know. My heart sunk a little. This other child was Jade's best friend and Jade was going to be so sad. The past 12 weeks, as we worked through all of this, I talked to Jade about moving classes, moving schools and we always came back to how she wouldn't care to move but really liked being in class with this friend. So, we stayed. Once I talked to this mom and knew she was pulling her daughter out I was really torn. This mom had a meeting set up with the principal the next day. She asked if I, and a few other mom's wanted to go. Scott was not big on the idea because he felt like the principal would feel ambushed if we all went in without her knowing. So-I sent the principal and email that night letting her know that I was coming in with this mom. She didn't get my email. The next day at the meeting she WAS upset at first that this mom had brought other people with her (me and another mom). I missed that part as I was late but the mom who scheduled it held her ground and told her we were all there for the kids and had a right to be there. The meeting was mostly this mom going down a list of concerns with a few inputs from me and the other mom. She had seen enough emails from me to already know what my concerns were. When we were finished she said she was grateful we "let her know" about these concerns. I held my cool but was so irritated and I said "Let you know? I have been letting you know for 6 weeks!" I was annoyed. I then said something about the guided reading and the principal said she felt that was the teacher was doing covered the guided reading. I said "what are you talking about? Are you saying when she sits at her desks and reads out loud with the entire class that that counts as guided reading?" She said no, when the teacher reads with them. I said "You mean when two students read to each other?" She again said "No, when Ms___ reads with them one on one" I about died. "Ms___ has done that ONCE and it is when I was there 2 weeks ago. I KNOW she hasn't done it because she said so in my emails so if she is telling you that it has been done she is not telling you the truth". A look of concern and maybe finally a realization of a problem passed quickly on the principals face. She didn't say anything. The meeting didn't end so great. I mean everyone was coridal but the principal, being a good boss I guess, wouldn't say much except that she would work on things. The mom who scheduled the meeting said she wanted out, that she was not sending her daughter back to that class and wanted the principal to call her with other options. I told her I wanted other options as well. The mom who scheduled the meeting had a phone call later that day from the principal with her daughters new class assignment. I did not. I sent Jadyn to school that day not knowing that the principal had already talked to the teacher about Jadyn's friend moving out and I am sure about some of the issues we had raised. I emailed her that night and just said if I was unclear in the meeting I wanted her to know I also was not going to send Jadyn back to class when the teacher already knew what was going on. I was so frustrated. The principal called me back that afternoon and said that she would move Jadyn as well. (so now, this teacher would have 16 kids when the other classes had 26. I also knew that another mom in my neighborhood was on a waiting list to get her child out of the class. She had done this 3 weeks into school when she had stood outside the teachers classroom and went home in tears over how the kids were treated. This was proof to me that other people in the area knew to steer clear). I had told her when she called that I wanted to make sure she wasn't just moving Jadyn to a class that had the next lowest numbers but that was a good fit for her. She said she felt this was. She asked if because of Parent teacher conferences going on the next 2 days and C track going off in 2 days if i would be comfortable sending Jadyn to her origninal class for 2 days and then going off track and coming back to the new class. I told her I was not comfortable sending her for the next 2 days but was fine to keep her home until they started back on track. She said ok. I got off the phone and cried. I was just so frustrated with the whole situation and felt like although we got Jade out, that this teacher was going to just keep on with the same and it wasn't right. It was frustrating but I had to realize I did what I could. I addressed the situation and did what I thought I needed to for my child. I kept Jadyn home the next 2 days and the principal called me on Friday and said she had thought about it and decided a different teacher would be a better fit. I was happy because I had heard this teacher was fantastic. I was relieved. The change was hard at first. Jadyn LOVED her new teacher but the adjustment of no longer having her best friend in her class was hard. Her friend was off track so not only was she not in her class but she was also not at school the first 3 weeks of the change. About a week after the switch things were much better. She had made friends in her new class and was so much happier in this new class. I was amazed at how much negative energy the situation was causing me every day. I think everyone around me was glad when we finally moved her so that I could stop talking it over with everyone. A few weeks ago Jadyn was writing something and when I asked her what it was she said it was a note to her teacher because it was her birthday. I was so happy becuase those are the things Jade was going last year when she loved her teacher. I have been in to help in the classroom and her teacher is so kind and soft spoken. She has great control of the classroom but allows the kids to also mingle with each other when it is appropriate. Talk about a breath of fresh air. I am so grateful for Jadyn's friends mom who was firm enough to say "No more. Not another day". It gave me the courage to do that same.

Elf on the Shelf

I decided to follow the new trend of "Elf on the Shelf" this year. My kids were so excited for our elf "Buddy" (he was originally named "stitch" but the name didn't stick) to join our house. There were a few nights Buddy had to move VERY quickly in the morning before the kids came downstairs and a few nights where Buddy didn't move and I told the kids he must have been touched sometime the day before! ;) Some nights I wondered if maybe having one more thing to do at night was not such a good idea. But....the kids loved it and Jade was so sad at the thought on Christmas Eve that he had to go with Santa and she wouldn't see him for a year! She wanted to give him a kiss but didn't want to take his magic away and make it so he couldn't fly back with Santa. It was pretty cute. We will see ya next year Buddy!

Buddy doing snow angels in flour. This might have not been the greatest idea as he got a bit dirty!

Buddy toilet papered the tree!

Ummm...Dad was on duty for a night. I posted these pics on facebook and they were pretty popular!

All the evil guys having a tea party!

The evil guys got Buddy! 

 Buddy excited that Christmas was soon!

Tragedies

Two weeks ago I received an email from a co-worker informing our team that another team member, who had been at a work Christmas party the same day, had had a stroke and was in the ICU. I was so sad to hear this, not only thinking of her but also her two children. She is a single mom who just got engaged. I know she is a very active and wonderful mom and could only imagine how hard this was going to be for her, her kids and her fiance. I wished there was something I could do for her.

Four days later, on Thursday night, I learned that a friend who I sang with in choir in High School had been in an awful accident earlier that day. It was a head on collision. Her car was split in half. Her 12 year old son died and she was in a come. She has a daughter and was newly remarried a year ago. Her husband had back surgery on Monday and had only been released from the hosptial the day before. Again, I was so sad for her and her family and wished I could do something for her.

The next morning the country was moved to sadness as a shooter in Newton, Ct. walked into Sandy Hook Elementary and killed 6 adults and 20 1st graders. I was so shaken up. How could someone do that? Little kids are so innocent and would have been so scared. There is no explanation. It is such a senseless crime. There isn't anyway I could wrap my mind about how awful that was, how horrible it must have been for those kids and their teachers who wanted to badly to protect them. I thought about Jadyn at school. I thought about how we send our babies off to school always assuming how they will be coming home and yet 20 parents had empty beds that night. I thought about the multiple blogs I read of parents who have lost their kids who are continually struggling to continue on without their babies and knowing these parents, and town, will now be doing this....all the week before Christmas. It just seems to unfair, so sad, and I wish I could do something for them.

There seems to be so much sadness in this world and yet....I have realized that when I wish I could do something for all of these peopleto take away some of their pain and some of their trials, the only thing I can do is to find the joy in my life and enjoy it more. Be more positive, more patient, more faithful, more loving, more kind, more caring and less jusgemental. I can't fix the awful tragedies and I can't take away the evil that seems to surround us but I can...and I must....do the best with the blessings I have been given. I have been blessed with so much and I think what these tragedies have reminded me is that we never know how long we have and that things can change in an instant. I am so grateful for all I have and the blessing I have to be able to spend this holiday season with so many friends and family that I love dearly. And, I will continue to pray for all of those around me who are hurting or struggling right now.